RATATOUILLE!
Finally got myself down to blog again! The past few weeks have been great in some ways - work, love, football and family... Family? Hmm..ok, maybe for the family part there's some unpleasantness here and there, let me explain.
I am wondering here if i should wash dirty linens in public but i guess i should. Maybe wash the linens but don't show the design, the label...you know what i mean... simply put, i'll be brief.
On one of the weekend nights, KB was at my house late and admittedly, i had hoped for her to stay over at "my house". Why the open inverted commas? I'll explain later.
So, we mingled around with the family by means of er hmm...mahjong? And by the time we finished the game, it was about 1130pm. The pre-arranged plan amongst the family was to have a supper and so, great...KB & i will have supper with the family...BUT..herein lies the shit part.
Before we left for supper, me sis messaged me and asked if KB was staying over. I knew straight away what was on her mind. Me bro-in-law doesn't like couples to be staying over at his house apparently and so i knew my sis had an issue here. In the meantime, i was getting frustrated with me sis for holding everyone up for supper. Here we were all ready and waiting in the living room and there she was stuck in her room.
Anyway, i replied sis that it's already late, no more public transport, can help send KB home after supper? Sis replied, "But i am already very tired..." Here's the shit:
I have a room BUT my girlfriend cannot stay over. I can drive BUT i am not allowed to drive his car to send her home. What the fuck?!
I messaged me sis back the above statement bar the last three words. I think sis got what i felt and in the end, despite her grumblings plus mum's minor grumble, sis drove KB back.
Isn't it shit? Ok, i have to take a big part of the blame for trying to get KB to stay over despite knowing that he doesn't like it. But think again, how shitty can one get? I have a room but my gf cannot stay over, i can drive but i cannot send my gf back! I have to add, both my gf and i were broke and i messaged my sis as a matter-of-factly. So how the hell do they want me to dispose of my girlfriend? Fuck..gets me boiling thinking about it.
So, to answer the earlier open inverted commas, am i living in "my house"? Now you answer me. I hate it but i can't do much about it. Tell you what i plan to do after another incident.
Oli used to come over to play Playstation and also, more often than not, I went over his house to play PS too. It was a good way to keep in touch and have fun.
So on one instance, one of those rare days Oli came over to play, albeit for a whole good afternoon, maybe from 11 plus till 6 or 7pm, mum had to come in repeatedly to hint to us to stop. I cant remember exactly what my mum did but whatever she did embarassed me and probably Oli. It got the desired effect and Oli and I stopped the game soon after. I think it was along the frank lines of wasting electricity.
Oh my God..my friend doesn't come like every day and the frequency was like once a month? or maybe once every one and a half month? Or maybe once in two months? Fuck... The gaming sessions with Oli soon dried up, i did go over his place a couple of times after the incident but after that we gradually stopped.
Maybe our schedules didnt meet again, maybe the incident played some part, but fuck. I really hated it. And i still feel the rage now. And fuck again... i hardly keep in touch with Oli now. And i dun blame him for that. He's a good friend.
Back to what i planned to do. I hope to move back to Bukit Merah next year when the Filipinos' lease expire. It will be quite a change financially for my mum and for me since it will be extra burden for me to provide her with more cash. Plus, the electricity bills, food, and all the misc expenses...Argh.. it is a big Catch 22 situation.
I get my space, my life, my home at Bukit Merah, but it will cost me financially. I am not earning much but i hope to save whatever i can. If i move back, what can i save? That is why i am at the moment resigned and just taking whatever shit thrown at me cos i save more on living expenses here. i know it sounds cheapskate but i only throw in the elec bills, a portion of it while living here.
But well, my perspective of life changes as i grow older each year. And i fully agree with what my 5th Uncle once said."Spend whatever is necessary or maybe just spend. Cos somehow whatever you earn, you will still find some ways to make ends meet. You will still live within your budget." I may not be clear here but i know the logic behind it and as long as the hole i dig isn't that big that i can't cover it, i will be fine i guess.
So, the conclusion is, i will still try to shift back to my Bukit Merah home, live alone like before BUT this time with the frequent stay over of KB...it's a much better and happier thought than living here and at times putting with the different colors of the owners' faces. And my mum's ocassional nonsense about living here.
Hmm..seems like quite a bit of dirt thrashed out..heck..it is what i feel and there is no right or wrong i guess. This stupid statement seems like i wrote for self-assurance, well, maybe it is. Whatever.
Oh, one thing about me living alone in Bukit Merah, i might just get cut off from the family, relatives included. But maybe the Myjia footie might just keep me in touch. That's the way it is with me. I tend to drift away into oblivion when i am cut off from something. Like my friends.
I am hardly in touch with my sec school friends now and in fact i am rather pissed with some of them. I am sure a few others don't join their activities often too and as i know it, only a small handful of them, maybe 3,4? still meet up once in a while to go out together.
So here's where my crack begins: First, TM got married and i was still working with Gord then and one day he asked about going for TM's wedding dinner. I was surprised to say the least cos i wasn't even on the guest list! But ok, TM is a friend within the clique, not that close but ..just a clique friend. So maybe, as Gord politely suggested, he forgot to include me and i am welcome to join, but fuck it..i am not going uninvited. On my part, i take it that he has his budget. So, i am a little pissed that people whom i take it to be on the same status as me, that is not really joining in the mini outings but still in the loop, yet they were invited. Especially the girls. How close was TM with them?!
Never mind, i tried to be open lor cos to be fair, i didn't really join them much and i have pretty much become a memory, a name.
I met up with them again a few months later when one of my good friend Heibu came back to SG and all was well, i enjoyed the little get-together at dinner. Then another of my good friend Wong got married and i am glad he invited me and so i attended his wedding and caught up a bit with the clique. And again, during his wedding, i think it was Gord again whom i learnt that some of the guys will be staying over at the suite to mess around with the newly-wed and again i wasn't informed. Kind of disappointed but Wong is a good friend, so i take it that we have both moved off from our friendship. Good luck to him anyway.
Then more recently, Jer got married and in a way, Jer was closer than TM and i wasn't invited to his fucking wedding?! Oops.. i don't mean to curse him but it was just an expression... I mean this really pissed me off. AND i think he invited the girls who were never really that close to him! What the fuck?!
Put it plain and simple, i have moved off from my clique and i don't really wanna be associated with them. A couple of months back, they tried to get me back to play for them/ with them for the Past vs Present Football Tournament. I declined.
I mean, do you get my point? When you need me or when you need players then you come looking for me, expecting me, out of my love for the game to be keen to join you guys for the tournament? Please... Yup, maybe it's their way of trying to keep in touch with me but i don't see it that way. Cos if it is their way of trying to keep in touch with me, it is their only way.
So, the next year when I do join P v P, it might be for David's team, that is if he still invites me to play for his team like he did this year. Out of politeness for my clique, i turned David down.
So there it is with my clique. Not that i am entirely cut off from them, i wouldnt mind meeting Heibu when he comes back. ermm.. i think he's the only guy whom i am more keen to meet. I remember Oli doesn't quite feel like Oli anymore and Gord? Gord was a nice friend when i worked with him. But i am like getting pissed off a little with him too.
Here's why. Like the rest, when i stopped working with him, we gradually lose touch. Maybe no. Cos once in a while, he would ask me for favours, design favours, F.O.C to help him out. I mean, to me not everything is about money. Really, if you know me, when i have the money i am rather generous. When i do not have the money, i scrimp on myself. At this point, I have to apologise to KB whom i have been pretty calculative with whenever i am broke. Really sorry.
Back to Gord. Yes, not everything is about money and not everytime you message or call me has to be favours to help you. Favours like web design codes, print or edit brochures...I am not the only one in the clique who studies that! There's Len who knows all that too and just because he appears busy doesn't make me any less busy than he is. Face it, everyone is busy with their own lives! To be fair to Gord, he hasn't "bugged" me since i failed to give him the HTML code that he needed.
Damn, i just let these couple of stuff off my chest which i have been hoping to blog it down for a while. Have got a couple more pleasant stuff but i think it's getting late and i have written enough in this post to write a book. I will write again about happier stuff and before i pen off, do catch Ratatouille! I caught it with my KB and i'll put it as one of the happier and nicer movies i have seen recently! Remy!!!!!!